S2E5: CRAZY Relationship Secrets, Tyreek, Trump and This week's community question

Pilar Lyutfalieva (00:00.342)
You know what I'm saying? Like, we can just roll with it. Like, I'm wrong and strong. I'm already here. Like when I argue with my husband, I'm like, well, I'm already here. I'm going keep going. and strong. I've committed. Like, I've committed to this. He's like, and he'll have all the valid arguments. I'm like, no, it's just the hell I'm going to die on. Like, I'm committed to this. I've prepared my sacrifice. I've seasoned myself.

I'm ready for the spitfire. I'm like, this is it. Nope. This is the hell I'm going to die on. He can have all the facts laid out. Like, I'm like, no, no, no. That's no. Goop egg got.

Welcome to the Goop'd and Gag podcast series. Come escape and unwind with us. A life coach, me, Polar, and image transformer, Vanessa, as we react to the happenings on the one thing that brings us all together, like Thanksgiving dinner, the internet. And just like Thanksgiving dinner also is a great source of inspiration, drama, hilarity, ins...

Paterlicious moments. I'm gonna edit that so I say that later. Lairdy. Paterlicious. Inspect Paterlicious. I'm like there will be no cats or dogs at our dinner.

Pilar Lyutfalieva (01:30.851)
The pets have been marked safe. my god, the level of... my god. I'm just happy. Like, there's no derange Haitians running around trying to scoop up my pets, you know?

I mean, Haitians, they can never get a break, let me tell you. Trust me, we have a huge Afro -Caribbean population here in New York, especially Haitians, and I can guarantee you that Haitians are not fucking eating cats and dogs. I was confused because I was dealing with Jason, the baby, and he was like, blah, blah, blah.

because he still speaks Mandarin. And I had to rewind it. I'm like, who the fuck is eating cats and dogs? I'm like Haitians. I'm like.

Wait a second. I'm like, with another demographic would be like, maybe get there. Maybe, you know, if they're culturally, you know, known to eat dogs and cats. like China, they have dog farms specifically for that. And that's not, there's no shade. That's just like, mean, it's just a fact. they have cats all over the world eat different things.

like Jesus Christ at a meat market. You like they're crucifying these dogs and cats. Or even like horse in some culture that eat horse. Like I was over at for Christmas. We were in Spain and you know, my husband's side of the family is all Russian and his sister -in -law's mom, she came and visited and

Pilar Lyutfalieva (03:20.64)
She had horse jerky. She brought it from Russia. It was horse jerky. And it was like, that's like a specialty, like a, you know. So it's like all around the world. Holy caballero.

Pilar Lyutfalieva (03:37.506)
I mean, I think I had some.

girl they eat that you can eat anything okay

Girl, we eating babe, okay? We eating babe. You know what? I guess it's like a mental thing. Like I can get with that, but I can't get with India, are sacred. Not just domestic homies. No, I cannot get with a Mustang on my plate. What? Are you serious? Well, no shades, whoever eats, know, what's the race in horse's name? Seabiscuit. But it's not, it's a no for me.

That's number. Like with green bean and biscuits? what the fuck? No. Or scorpions or... Scorpions, I've seen that, you know, put a little, you know, seasoning on Isn't that nice and fried and crispy? Yeah, I've seen that. Or like little crickets and things. Yeah. yeah. In Mexico, they eat crickets. Crickets. In Guatemala too. has a friend who felt comfortable enough to actually, you know, eat her crickets, like on FaceTime with her, which is not a huge thing because...

really big cultural difference here in the US. ew, you're Right, so people might be like, my God, but that's good, she felt comfortable. She felt comfortable enough, but I digress. Haitians are not the inner fucking town people. Yeah, with all that being said, we feel pretty comfortable staying. Now, if you had some goats or something. I mean, goat for sure, goat, sheep for sure. get some goat, or if you had some pigs, they're like, all right, might. We need to make our griot. They're like, more.

Pilar Lyutfalieva (05:19.842)
You know what I'm saying? But Haitians don't eat cats. Haitians, some are very superstitious. You know, not all Haitians, you know, practice voodoo, like overdo, as some people think, and they are terrified of cats, actually. interesting. Like, terrified of cats. It's our version of superstition, basically. Yes, they are fucking terrified of cats, some Haitians, or... Like, they're bad omens. Yeah.

but either way, they're not fucking eating cats and dogs. One of my very good friends, Tahina, has a dog, or had a dog, and she's Haitian, and I had to text her, and I'm gonna ask her, you know, her thoughts on this. A lot of my Haitians are probably like, the fuck? So I literally had to rewind it. I'm like, who is he talking about? It was so outlandish. I'm like, wait, did he just say they eat cats and dogs? And I'm like,

He can't be talking about the illegals, like the Hispanics that coming. I'm like, they don't fucking eat cats and dogs. I'm like, women as well as Mexicans or Central South Americans eat fucking cats and dogs. Like even on the worst day, like they will be fucking starving. You've seen them eat cats and dogs? No, no, no, hold on. I was going to say, because like, for instance,

Like my mom grew up in Spain with Franco, there was the Civil War and there was a huge famine. There was no, it was a huge food problem. So people were eating, like the joke in her family, which by the way, like several people actually died of hunger, but like the joke was like there was no rats. But that's real hunger. That's real hunger.

that's not even happening in the US. Exactly, like if that's actually happening in the US, you shouldn't be shaming people for eating cats and dogs. You should be shaming yourself for going, we live in a place where people are starving so much that they don't have access to food. it doesn't make sense. Right, it doesn't make sense. That's why I was like. I literally just wanted it. This sounds crazy when you it.

Pilar Lyutfalieva (07:39.374)
Who the fuck is eating cats and dogs? Nobody on any level. I'm like, wait, what? I'm like, okay, that's not even third world development country. That is like some other shit. I don't even know. He doesn't even know what he's talking about. When you see a deranged white man yelling into a microphone.

They're eating. It's like they're eating the cats and the dogs. They're stealing the pets. I'm like, what? We need to all take a deep breath. I was like, okay, so I feel like they wanted Biden to stay in because his level of senility, I don't even know if that's a word, but like his super senile -ness. Yeah. Surpassed his. But now when he's running against an opponent that actually

you know, it's lucid and knows where they are. It looks really bad. It's like, sir, what? And I feel like they prepped him on this debate. mean, like prepped him hard because they knew that, you know, she's educated, whatever. And they're like, do not fucking mention the fucking cats, Donald Literally, were advisors, the advisors were saying like, we prepped him on this, we prepped him on that, like stay away from this, stay away from that. I said, don't say it. As soon as he said it, they fucking said it.

I fucking told him not to say that. sir, like we told you, like, I feel like that's the last thing they told him before they went on, you know, before he went on the stage. Don't mention the cats, dogs or abortion. talk about the cats, dogs, nothing. And say late term abortion, not abortion after the baby's born, because then it's not abortion anymore. my God, it's infanticide. What is it? Infanta - and infanticide? Infanticide, yes, infanticide.

Bruh. my God. I'm sure he meant late term abortion. Okay, we're just gonna, we're gonna just say it's semantics, I'm here. But there was no such thing as post -birth abortions. I mean, that's wild. I'm like, but then they're just alive by themselves. They're just, I'm like, so murder? Like. So. Wait till I tell my children that

Pilar Lyutfalieva (10:04.312)
Post -birth abortion is a thing. I'm going right down to the clinic.

and abort your little ass. Wasn't that a joke in Chris Rock's set? was like, I support all murder. I can tell my child, eight years old, I want to try him out first. I want to see what kind of kid they grow up to. Let's see what they're going to be like. You know what? You're really turning out to be a little shit. I'm going take you down to the clinic. I don't know how it works.

I don't understand, you know, logistics of it, but they said there's a thing as such thing as post -birth abortion. So we're going to roll with it. So we're going to roll with it. We're going to roll with it. I had a few I can try. I'm like, keep talking with me. You're getting really annoying. That post -birth abortion is sounding really upbeat. You're really good. I'm like, your days, Sophia. You're keep spending my imaginary money. Keep it up.

post -birth abortion here, PBA. PBA. Check it. my God. But yeah. You have to be very, it was just a shit show. And there's so many things like he, like he could have really touched on, you know? Like, he could have like debate 101. He could have pressed Kamala to actually answer questions. But she played a very good game. Yeah, she pressured him.

She put it on him and she just, and she was like, big deal. Like, I keep my cool. The dogs, the cats. The live abortion babies at three years old. Like, Paw Paw, come, come, let's get you back to bed, Paw Paw. Like, he's gonna press immigration because she didn't answer those questions. So what is your sense of immigration? How are you gonna address these, as he put them, Venezuelans on steroids, or whoever.

Pilar Lyutfalieva (12:09.378)
He said that, he said something about Venezuelans on steroids. I don't know if he was referring to the Haitians again, because again, the baby was grooming. But he definitely said something about Venezuelans, they're like Venezuelans on steroids. I love how he takes these like anecdotal micro stories and he makes them the entire problem. and it was like.

We're not talking about that. Like, and they were talking about, you know, January 6th, and he deflected and started talking about something else again. It's like, focus on the question at hand. He switched it up, started talking about the economy. Right. It's like...

Pilar Lyutfalieva (12:52.78)
No, I feel like these people that part of his advisors was just like, you know that meme like the person just like smoke a cigarette. So, Mackay Fieffer just hit his head down. He just like smoke a cigarette. They didn't smoke before last night. They do now. But now they're like, they're probably on a fucking bender. They're on Marlboro Reds. They're they're on Marlboro Reds. like, they just, that's it. Like, this is my life. This is what I signed up for. I hope he pays no well.

And I hope it comes with therapy or like they need somewhere to unpack because they're like, we spent how many weeks preparing for this? And then it just. He was so and he was so sad that Biden wasn't there. I mean, that was the real heartbreak. Because I said his Biden's like level of like senileness again, I don't know if that's a word. Sorry, Surpassed his own. But when you remove that crazy or that level of.

being senile with what? It was just like, he just fed right into it. He had so many opportunities to actually have a good debate. And I was hoping that he would like focus on what he needed to focus on. And it's just like, like focus on why you feel that Republicans are coming out and blatantly saying, no, we're not voting for you. Yeah, like address that, like address it. Like there are things that need to be addressed and if you own it.

like own January 6th, you know what I mean? Own these things and he keeps flip -flopping and like the people that were there on January 6th and supported him, some of them were pissed. yeah. Because he was They feel misled. Yeah, because one point he said, I did lose the election. They're like, we went up there for fucking what? You said you lost what? But then you flip -flop and say, I didn't. They're like, make up your mind. Because I feel like some of his own people, his followers are like,

Yeah, they're teetering. It's like that meme where it's like reasons to love Kanye and it's that woman and she's like. Yeah, exactly. It's like dwindling. I'm trying so hard. We're trying to support you, sir. Like we are really fucking trying. Yeah, totally. Yeah. The foot flop and like just own it also reminds me of the whole like Tyreek and that cop like.

Pilar Lyutfalieva (15:19.436)
Both of them pissed me off. I didn't see it. I didn't see the footage. But from what I heard, he wasn't being compliant. But they always say that, so I don't know. I can't speak, and I should have. Basically, Tyree, it didn't matter if he was a white dude or whatever. Duke came off as extremely privileged. And he was just non -communicative. Then again, he's on his way to, he's going to be late to the game.

So the reason he got pulled over in the first place was he was going 55 in a 40 and it was like traffic and there was, you so it was a danger, right? You see somebody - when I leave for work, I have to be to work at 8 a and I leave my house at 889. I'm rushing to get there. Okay, got it. Let's go.

And then you're mad they pulled you over for sleeping. Then you're mad they pulled me over. He was the whole like, you know, friction of debate is he kept rolling up his window. And so his reason, his reason was that he needed to call the head of security. He needed to call his bosses. He needed to call his people, right? Which makes sense, but he didn't communicate that to the cops. So the cop was like, don't roll up your window. Roll your window up.

That's like if you're talking to your child, like you're rubber manning them or something and then they close the door while you're talking. or they start walking away. Right. That that for or whatever is just going to get fucking kicked in. Like, so I understand. OK, the cops like, I understand that part. Right. Exactly. So already he's just acting like and he even said he's like, just give me the ticket so I can go. Just give me the tickets. And at that point, you're like, yes. And like, shut the fuck up.

Let me do my job. I've been pulled over and you want to be as pleasant as possible. Right, exactly. You want to be communicative, just be like, I'm so sorry. I know I was speeding. I'm late. have a game. I play for the Dolphins, blah, blah. Yay! You want an autograph, but not on a ticket? You know what I'm saying? that kind of thing. OK. Or just as normal.

Pilar Lyutfalieva (17:42.784)
You know, was rushing, you know what I mean? If you're going to give a ticket, can you just hurry up? Just so I can get to the game. The man also has a job to do. Now, here's where the dude, it starts to take a turn for the worse. The dude just loses it and he's like, that's it. You know what? Get out of the car. And it's like, this is not going I've been there like with my children. It's like, they don't shut the fuck up. And you want them to shut the fuck up. You're like, you know, shut the fuck up.

You know what, and you give them a last resort, but then you take that last resort back. You're like, you know what, I'm not giving you another chance. Because I know you're going to fuck that up too. It's like the other day when Drew, I was trying to explain to him, like, when you pack up your folder like this, but I did that. But I'm like, you didn't. And I'm trying to be really gentle. And you're like, do the gentle thing. And I just want myself like, give me the folder. I'm like, you fucking put the papers in like this. Fuck this. And you know what I mean?

If you're trying to explain something them and they're still talking and they walk away, you want to know about their ponytail or whatever, a little bit of hair, whatever you can grab or whatever chunk law you could pick up and like, so that's where the cop, that's where he went. Right. And he's got the pressure of everybody watching him. He's got like five, because they're directing traffic too. So there's also like five other cops there or whatever. There's a whole traffic.

There's like all this traffic. So he's got all these optics. He has an audience. He has an audience. And it's a man scene. Apparently, and this is where when you said, if you're gonna do it, own it, this is where it reminded me of him because apparently he didn't know that he was Tyree Kill until they went back, because this is on the cam footage. They go back, they run his information and.

One of the cops goes. If he would have just gave his ID, like license or registration, they would have walked and saw his name. So he did, and that he immediately rolled up his window. His thinking was he thought that the cop walked away, so he rolled up his window. But normal decorum when you get pulled over is you don't roll up your window, especially you've tinted windows, because he has tinted windows. Right, there was, yeah, it was tinted. You leave that shit down. You leave that shit open. You're like, I'm not gonna, like, I'm not looking for problems.

Pilar Lyutfalieva (20:06.732)
I'm trying to leave that window down. You don't want to say that. think you'll reach for anything if you totally window down exactly like I know what I'm looking suspicious and I know when someone's going to try to find everything they can to like, you know what I mean? Like, yes, you are black in America, sir. You need to like, like, don't stoke the fire. And that's where I'm like, Tyree, you're an idiot because.

He's drama. He's not like some sort of civil servant either. Wait, isn't that the guy where he tackled the woman and broke her leg? Yes! This dude is like a domestic abuse rap sheep. That's what I'm saying. People trying to defend Tyreek don't, okay? Just don't. Also, don't defend that cop.

It's, I'm like, wait, it just clicked. I'm like, wait, wasn't he the one who was mad? Yes. the woman did something like to show him up. And he was like, I'm gonna show you, bitch. Not only that, not only that, he has a history. When he was in college ball, he actually got, he got called on for strangling his like pregnant girlfriend or something like that. So dude's not, dude ain't a saint.

Okay, so let's not try to sit here and act like, he's down for post birth abortions and pre birth. He's down for whatever. He's down for whatever. that's what saying. Like the dude, he's not a good dude. Okay, so now we have this not a good dude in a, he doesn't mind the drama. He doesn't mind drama period. So it's not like,

he didn't know. Tyreke said, here's the gasoline. First run around with the law. It's not like he's not a repeat offender. knows how the law works. has interacted with cops before when he has been very much in the wrong. He knows exactly. So it ain't being black in America. It's also being a jackass in America. So many layers, so many layers.

Pilar Lyutfalieva (22:19.896)
So he doesn't give a fuck. There's no optics there for him. He's just like, bring the fight, bring the drama. But here's where the cop, it's like, listen, okay, listen. So in the cam footage, one of the other cops, you can hear the other cop go, he plays for the Dolphins. He's like one of their star players. And this is where, this is where I go listen.

If the cop for real felt like he was doing God's work by being overly aggressive and putting that man in cuffs and, you know, put like literally smacking him with the law, okay, if he really felt like he was doing God's work, he would not have so easily released him afterwards because that's exactly what he did. If you really believe that what you were doing was right,

And in the right, would have like, I'm doing my job and this is my job. I don't care. He would have owned it. She's like, I don't care. That's it. That's a super petty person. When I'm mad, I'm like, don't give a damn. You know what I'm saying? Like, we can't just roll with it. Like, I'm wrong and strong. I'm already here.

Like when I argue with my husband, I'm like, well, I'm already here. I'm going keep going. I'm there. really strong. I've committed. Like I've committed to this. He's like, and he'll have all the valid arguments. I'm like, no, this is the hell I'm going to die on. Like I'm committed to this. I've prepared my sacrifice. I've seasoned myself. I'm ready for the spitfire. I'm like, nope, this is hell I'm going to die on. He can have all the facts laid out.

I'm like, no, no, no, that's no, just no. I'm prepared. It was up to me and like you said, if he felt that he was totally right and it was totally justified how he was acting and what he was doing, his ass sort of went to jail that day and he was never... 100%. ...uncontained him. Exactly. been going there in jail with the fucking cat and dog eaters, with it so long, had. He really felt like he was... And that was Trump.

Pilar Lyutfalieva (24:44.492)
He said January 6th and he said, I lost my whisker. What do mean you lost by a whisker? Literally a whisker. Was that planned? he even? Did drop that pun? Did he do that on purpose? Zing it. Dad jokes. I hope he changes his.

like campaign music to what's new pussycat. Like please, like it will be such a missed opportunity. I know how hilarious to do that. All these cat memes, they're not really doing any dog memes. I don't know if AI can do good dog, but AI they can be great dogs. So why is no one doing the dog memes? We see kitties, but we don't see puppies. You notice that? Yeah. There's something about kitties that really strikes the internets heart. It's stupid.

Deeply true. I love the, know, cat movement, their dancing and stuff. I mean. Yeah, we digress. So yeah, I guess they are both in the wrong. If he felt that he was doing what he, what was right and not overreacting, if it wasn't Tyreek Hill, would he have released him? Exactly. You know, and it's just, but on the other hand, don't be an asshole.

or you end up putting your clothes dirty when you get pushed to the floor. Because that is like my ultimate fear. If I get pulled over or arrested, they make me get out the car. stop. Either you have like a good outfit on or you look like you don't want to be seen. You know what I mean? Like, please don't make me get out the car. Both are terrible situations. terrible. Because either they're going to ruin your shoes or your outfit if you have to like sit or they like curve. my God. And you're... Or you're in your slippers. Right.

Your house shoes. Number one is like, I don't want to get on the floor. It's like a really good outfit and like shoes. You kidding me? my God. And you got like a cotton or like a shirt that isn't easy to dust off. What if it's good silk, you know, or like just, no, or like really good. Or like, what if it's vintage, you know, like, but this is vintage, know, like. It's literally John's last leg.

Pilar Lyutfalieva (27:06.166)
You know, or like the horror or worse, like if you fucking you just running ever like dropping, you're going through the drive through or doing a pickup and your teeth are just flapping in the window because you don't have a bra. Cause you don't have a bra. Your fucking titties are pointing to the floor, your nipples are poking. Or and you're wearing like fuzzy house shoes that you're like, I will wear these to the car, but I'm not getting out of the car. And then they make you get out of the car on the side of the road. And it's like, I can't.

These are supposed to be clean. Clifflops in the winter, your toes look like fucking jagged talons. It's like, my God, this might be released. This is just embarrassment. So, you know, when you get pulled over, like, let's try to avoid being snatched out the car. This is generally speaking. Generally, like, let's just stay in the car. Just give them what they want and you can. don't even try to my way out of a ticket. just answer.

and I'll just make up usually some excuse in court or something. Or me having the talent of being able to shove my stomach out. I'm like, I'm pregnant even when I'm not pregnant. Yeah. I've done that. I'm like, like shove it out. like, and then you have to I'm so sorry. I was rushing to my appointment. I've done this before. So I was like in the wrong lane and I was on a bridge going into Manhattan. And if you reverse,

to get out of this lane, you would get six points, and there were state troopers everywhere. I didn't fucking move. I just stayed there and put my hazards on until I came over. Because you couldn't get out of the lane for like three quarters of a mile. You were just like blocked in. That's the worst. I mean, the fucking... And I'm like, right? I think fast, you know. I'm like, think like a scammer. I'm like, think like a scammer. But a cop comes over, like everything okay. I'm like,

Hi officer, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize I couldn't be in this lane. I was just having some, think they're contractions, but I'm not sure. And I was just really trying to hurry up and get to my doctor's appointment. So I didn't realize what lane I was in. He's like, no, do you need a police escort? I'm like, No need to waste our resources on me. It's just right over the bridge. It's literally two minutes from here. I just need to get there. He's like, you go.

Pilar Lyutfalieva (29:30.296)
go right on and then they let me through with things. I fuck, fuck, fuck. Yeah, they would go contractions. Was I pregnant at that time? I've been pregnant so many times. Wait, was I pregnant? I think I was pregnant. I think I was like three months or something, but I like, I'm surprised I didn't shit myself. I pushed my stomach out so hard to make like some sort of bump appear. Like this.

I'm like, think we were just having contractions. I didn't realize, I am so sorry. And it helped I have like my USMC, you Marine Corps towel on the back. always keep that. Always. I'm so sorry. And when I had to go to traffic court once, I'm like, I did not mean to go into the HOV lane. I was really trying to get away from this other driver who was driving erratically. And I'm like, when they taught us how to drive in the Marine Corps,

They didn't teach me how to drive shit in the ring car. I'm just letting them know that I'm a veteran. You had to a way to needle that little situation on in there. And I got it in like, it's fine. And you're pregnant. But I'm pregnant to get you out of so many things. That's why I enjoy being pregnant too. Because I go, at her. She's putting it in her heels. she's trying to look good too. Like, that's a woman who's trying. That's a woman who's putting in the effort. And she's a veteran. And she's a veteran.

my goodness. You just go. You just go. Don't worry about any of this. I'm like, thank you so much. Shuk, thank you for your service. I'm like, thank you for saying that. It means a lot. And then I hop on my little fat ass on out of there and get to where I gotta be. Thank God for those fat pockets. can shove it on when necessary. my God, that's so funny. That's it. Yeah.

Traffic 101. Traffic 101 with Vanessa. And if you're pregnant, use it to your advantage. Or if you're a woman and you can shove that stomach out just to make it little rounder. you got a baby seat in the back. They believe it. It should be very nice. Very nice. Remember the That's something that women have. truly is like - the one Yeah. We definitely have -

Pilar Lyutfalieva (31:52.362)
so many layers to us, because we will mind fuck the fuck out of any situation where we will be like, we are the submissive species, but also we will use that to our advantage. The judge told me, yes, no, no. I'm like, so sorry, officer. if I do get pulled over and I look ugly, I'm like, great. I can't even use the pretty privilege thing.

When you're ugly, feel like, well, you know, look like shit. It's like you're more likely to get the ticket as a woman too. You know, like be careful out there. You know what I mean? Unless you have the baby car seat in the back. I'm telling you, you can leverage that. You're just like, I'm so sorry. I just, I've barely slept and I just, I wasn't even paying attention. I got a call, you know, from the school. to go pick them up. They're not feeling well. I'm so sorry.

Pick them up. I'm sorry. I just was hurrying and I had the baby at home with the sitter. it's a mess. And my husband just got home from his night job and he works for the city or the state or he's like, my I didn't say he's something that's important. You know, I'm so sorry. He's a doctor and he just got home from doing a double three day straight. He's home with the newborn. had to go get the little one. I just want to, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. You know, just like I said, you know, when you look good, it's like, all right, I can really open this one. I have my eyebrows on. Yes. My face even on factory settings. I'm like, yes, I'm at this new phase and hopefully get, I'll rest this case. know what I'm saying? my goodness, that's so It's true. Men on the other hand, it's just like, good luck. luck.

Men don't have that advantage like we do. be sorry, answer questions, hands on tend to. Delicate feminine, you know, something. Yeah, mean, lean into, I mean, there's an episode literally on friends where there's a juxtaposition between Rachel getting pulled over and Ross getting pulled over and Ross tries to employ the same techniques that Rachel did. And he's like, so.

Pilar Lyutfalieva (34:18.286)
The cop goes back and she's like, they're silent for a second. And he's like, you have a son. He's like, I know. It's like all the shame. It's like all the shame just comes out. But women, we had that, you know what I mean? So we need to leverage that. Sorry fellas. And use this time advantage. I'm going to use what I got to get what I want. yeah. Yeah. We're going to use what we have. We're survival, baby. We're going to make it happen.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Nice. Don't you like it when your cleavage is just like popping? Yeah, you just look like this. Symmetrical and... It's like the perfect cleave. You know what I nice. And then you blow out kind of just... I'm sorry. It's like, I'm so sorry. Hey, they can call it what they want, but listen, I'm a user. have like... We all gotta do what we want. And yeah, just not giving me a ticket.

That's hilarious. love it. don't be like Tyreek Hill. don't be Tyreek and don't be that cop. Don't be that cop. Don't be easier than those. Everybody was wrong. Everyone's going to hell. Yes, everyone's wrong. Everyone's dumb. Everyone's going to hell. Jeez. And that's it. Everyone sucks. Hot take. Also, don't get sucked in. This is like a...

total callback to me yesterday losing my shit on these two people arguing when I had to be somewhere. I was like, do not get sucked in to the trap of arguing with idiots that want you to pick a side. Don't do it. Don't do it. Do that shit on your own time. You can have all the opinions you want, not when I need to go pick up a children and give you money. Like, I'm trying to pay.

Pilar Lyutfalieva (36:18.562)
I'm trying to give you my money. Like, give me money. Money. I'm trying to give you the money, and I have things to do. You have a whole line of people. Do not try to get into your debates or your conversations while I'm on. You're on borough time, okay? Because you're on my time. I got to go. All right? So be cognizant of others' time.

Like again, if I grew up an asshole, we get it. But how is it to be an asshole in your own time? Being an asshole on your own time. And argue with assholes on your own time, honestly. Like, argue with assholes at your own risk on your own time. At your leisure, not mine. I've got shit to do. Wrap it up and that's that.

As your host for the hour, just wanna thank you for listening and taking the time to hang out with us. If you haven't already, don't forget to follow us and share with your friends because we all need a chance to express our thoughts, feelings, and so many questions, so many questions. In this episode, Vanessa's gonna pull out some goodies and we're gonna raw dog some reactions. I don't know why I wrote.

I followed the pullout. No pun intended. No pun intended. So good. right, me... It's little disclaimer. have no idea what the statements are. She has not seen anything, heard anything. this is put it. is as wrong as it gets. I'm not pulling out.

Okay. Neither my husband either, Okay. All right. So, married people are confessing the secrets they'll never ever tell their spouse and holy crap. The preface for this, I'll never tell my wife, but I regularly fantasize about her mom. So I'm like, okay, from that I knew this was gonna be interesting. All right. So here are some submissions and this is like a Reddit thread. All right, number one.

Pilar Lyutfalieva (38:39.062)
I slept with all three of my wife's sisters multiple times and she doesn't know. I also have a secret child with her oldest sister. me if she even heard a rumor about it.

Yeah. Like, how do you do that? How do you have a secret child with the family? What the family? Yeah. That poor sister. So she's basically just, she either is raising that kid on her own and everyone's like that poor soul, don't know who that daddy is. Or married and raising that child as if it's the husband's. Right. So the sister knows, you know, obviously, and but the wife doesn't know that her niece

is her stepdaughter. I guess would it be a stepdaughter? it would be her stepdaughter.

Pilar Lyutfalieva (39:32.746)
Yeah, I'll never tell my wife, but I regularly fantasize about her mom while I pleasure myself.

Pilar Lyutfalieva (39:44.622)
You

I wanna know, I wanna know what goes through his head though. Like is he fantasizing like, my wife is gonna be this hot or is he like specifically getting off on her? The mom. The mom. And all her momliness. Like Stacy's mom has got it going on. Like the Bounties of Wayne.

I made out with my husband's older brother and sister while he was in the other room. I'll never tell him what happened. What? Wait, what? Yeah. okay. I wanna know how old they were, cause that sounds like... Yeah. Right? Yeah. Like how does that happen? Was it Thanksgiving?

I mean, I'm lying. I mean, in the spirit of thanks and given, she will. I don't know. My partner found a card in my car for a proposal to marry me or so she thought the card was actually meant for another woman. I've also been dating for three years. my God. Stop. Surprise, honey, you to see that I was just practicing and I'm going to give this to you on your birthday or Christmas like.

What do you say to that? is he really gonna, which one is he gonna marry? my God. Like, she just the side, did the side piece find it? Like, who was the side piece? Right. I think I've been in that situation. I've been in that situation where he was dating both of us for so long that it was like, well, who's the side piece? Who's the extra? Ugh. Was he a Leo?

Pilar Lyutfalieva (41:43.39)
No, he was a hold on He was a Scorpio Scorpio. I can see that. Mm -hmm. I can see that I can see that. Mm -hmm. A week before I married my wife I got really drunk with my breast my best friend a man like me and we ended up making out and giving each other BJ's

During the whole ceremony, we kept exchanging awkward glimpses. We've never discussed what happened with each other. I never told my wife or anyone, but I still think about the experience and get all hot and bothered. Do you think it was his first?

I don't know. feel like he might've had a few non -alcoholic beers in college once or twice. Right, right, right, right. Like, I'm so drunk. Dude, that's non -alcoholic beer. know. It's rule. You know, woo, it's been fermented. Like, is it though? Is it though? Yeah. That's wild. -huh. Yeah, yeah. My partner, female, of six years doesn't know that before we met,

I, a male, used to sleep with men. The experiences were very hot and I reminisce about them often. Aw, poor baby. Yeah. Well, even more, also, I would be shocked if he's serious with this girl because how are you not gonna tell her? Well, she's a beard and that happens a lot. I suppose you call a woman who doesn't, I mean, she may know. She might know, but I mean, it's like, it's like,

But also, like...

Pilar Lyutfalieva (43:30.382)
That sucks for him. I mean, he could have found a girl that's into pegging and I'm saying there's a lot of options. Thank you. Right. You know, I mean, there's a lot of options out there. There's a lot of options out there. He could have. Yeah. Yeah. He could have just. I want to know about these people's relationships more like, you know what I mean? Like.

Right, I wanna know what goes on. mean, clearly she's not pegging him, otherwise she would know that that's what he's into and if he felt comfortable to tell her that. Unless he acted like he didn't know. That he likes his prostate pushed in. And he was like, I don't know, my goodness, is that okay? Or is that like, is that weird? Like, I've definitely encountered people like that. Push my prostate in, you know I'm saying?

I feel like that would have came up in conversation. my God, that's the first time I've ever done that. That was amazing. Do you mind doing that again? Like, wow, it was just so much give. Are you sure? I'm so happy I can be so comfortable with you. I've never been so close to someone before. I bet someone tell me that. baby, you just blacked out. I'm like, it's fine.

I was sleeping with the rabbi who married my husband and me. My husband is Jewish and I'm Catholic. Hold on. My husband is Jewish and I'm Catholic. So his family rabbi wouldn't perform the ceremony. I called my previous boyfriend who happened to be an Orthodox rabbi to perform the ceremony. My husband's family never figured out how I managed to find a rabbi to perform our ceremony. shit, so she used to date him and then she slept with him.

What was it, a week before? I don't know how long she was... Shalom. I don't know. She's been...

Pilar Lyutfalieva (45:36.866)
my God. That's fucking weird. Being married by somebody you used to slam. And the rabbi? The rabbi is out here fucking willy nilly. Are they allowed to? I don't know if they're like priests, know, or they're taken out it celibate? Celibacy, I don't know.

But whatever she was selling, he was buying, sweetie. He was like, you know what? God is in that pussy. Or Yahweh, you know, as they put it. Yahweh is in the, Yahweh and they, do they also do like the, well, they don't write it out. They don't write God. always say, no, they write Yahweh. They call it Yahweh. Exactly. And it looks the same. is that an anagram where it looks the same?

when you write it. Or it could be spelled, yeah, it's something, but yeah. he was, whew, mazel. My god, you stood and you let them break that glass in front of you after you broke her ass? That's crazy. It's madness, actually. That's insanity. That's wild. It's wild. I don't know, is that maybe a blessing for the family or is that a curse because he's a man?

He's a holy man. I broke her in for you. I blessed this marriage. Bless this marriage. She's my holy water. Like she's good. You know what mean? Like trust me, like you're going to enjoy this. I know I did. I know I did. It like two days ago, but trust me. Give her some time to heal. Yeah, she must, know, cleanliness and yeah, that was interesting.

That's a part. and other question. You have the question, right? yes. A community question. yes, yes. The community. It's like in church. All rise. All rise for the community question. What question does our community have?

Pilar Lyutfalieva (47:53.728)
Your new favorite spot to unwind, laugh, and connect, whether you're a boss, a dreamer, or just need a break from the daily grind, join us as we explore the gift that keeps giving the internet. Tune in wherever you get your podcasts. Hey ladies. So I wanna share something rather embarrassing and distasteful, but I don't know how to go about this. So my boyfriend and I have been together for a year. We started dating last year in August and we did long distance at first.

Then he came to visit during Christmas and he's been with me ever since. Meaning he's moved in and obviously let his apartment go. Before he moved, he was making about 8 to 10k a month. Not bad. He took a pay cut moving here. He literally only makes about 3k a month now and he hasn't helped me pay one, all caps, one bill.

not rent, not internet, electric, et cetera. I'm doing everything on my own and I had no problem before he got here. Now I'm struggling. He doesn't know how I feel. I haven't said anything about him not helping me. I don't want to abandon the relationship. We are best friends, but I don't like the way things are going and I don't want financial things to ruin our relationship. But also I don't want

to start to resent him. What should I do? Start to resent him, first of all.

Pilar Lyutfalieva (49:33.166)
I'm not taking care of any man like this unless this man is a certain age and came out of my body directly. This man has to be my child, not a man child, number one. Number two, I hope you're not spreading your legs and having sex with this person. There's no way I'm fucking someone who can't pay a bill. Are you kidding me? I'm not your mother.

What, how old are you? no. He's taking everything from her and he's gonna give her more responsibility potentially? and a pay cut? No one is taking a $7 ,000 pay cut, okay, per month. It's not like he was making 120 a year and now he's making like 113 a year. know what I mean? that makes sense.

This does not make sense. He sounds like a hobo sexual, meaning he needed somewhere to live to begin with. He g'd me. He never had a fucking job making, you nine, 10 ,000. No one in their right mind is, unless you fucking move from LA to Iowa or some weird shit, but they're paying bills and your best friend sucks at this point because he's a fucking user and it's just stupid that you're allowed to happen.

Cause there's no way I'm bending over and busting it open and getting folded up for this broky. Like you have nothing to contribute. You don't pay a bill. You probably don't buy a grocery. He probably doesn't even clean. No, he has nothing to contribute, nothing to offer. Like, ho, why is you here? No, all of it is just, all I hear is, no, no, no, I don't want to start to resent. This should have been discussed prior to him moving in. Like, so what, how are we doing this?

this bill situation because

Pilar Lyutfalieva (51:29.312)
I don't want to start to resent him. I had a boyfriend like that. Like he was just very annoying and needy. And it was just like, no, like it's not happening. And the resentment came quick and so did me ending it. Yeah, no, girl, pack it up, time to go. It's over. You can let your man, son, child, whatever go. Next. Thank you, a mobile sexual. He just needs somewhere to stay.

He didn't have a job, sweetie. You got swindled and g'd. It's okay. Right. Like, where is his money going? Where, right? Where's his money even going? He's not giving you shit. So either way, hell and no. This is like classic, like why, and like, why didn't you talk about this beforehand? And also, if you did, like, what was...

What was the basis for that conversation to begin with? Like how, like what did you guys even talk about? Because clearly there's a misalignment. And also, okay, this part, you're throwing around the term best friend. Now I am married to my best friend for sure. I believe you are too, you know. You can hash it out. You know that it's like,

Communication is key. Communication is literally everything. If you don't have communication, if you feel like you have to hold back, if you feel like you can't find the time to talk about something, if you feel like you're afraid of resenting them, that's such a, to me that's the unraveling of, that's the -

Yeah, like it's just a matter of time. you're not, like this is not gonna, it's not gonna work baby, I'm sorry. Like. He's not contributing to groceries I'm guessing. Your ass is gonna be eating cats and dogs too. And that's it. So if you don't wanna eat cats and dogs, and of course it's harder because you have another fucking person to take care of that's running up your expenses. Like are you crazy? Why is he not contributing? The fact that you actually have to fix your lips or fingers to say this is beyond me.

Pilar Lyutfalieva (53:49.766)
and know your worth, girl, just know. And mind you, I've been there where you're so scared, like you feel like you're gonna bring something up to them and they're going to look at you differently or they're going to judge you differently or whatever. If he wants a place to live, he can't look at a damn thing. I do what you You suck it up and you talk talking to them. You exactly, what?

Why and how are you afraid of this person who is an adult? How are you afraid of your son at this point? My son can't tell me shit. I told him to go clean his room and go upstairs. He's gonna go do it, because I pay the bills. I'm his mother. It's like, so is she doing the bending too? Like, what is happening? This so irresponsible of him, so irresponsible of him to take that massive of a pay cut without talking to her.

Yeah, exactly. That is either a lie or incredibly irresponsible. if it's either or, like, he has to address some serious issues, which says to me they both suck at communication. That is not your best friend. And if that is your best friend, maybe you're about to learn a very hard lesson about what true friendship is. it ain't, it ain't. And to sum it up, get into one. Bye.

Get a new one. Exactly. That's it. That's it. Boop. Boop, boop, boop. We want to thank you again for listening. Don't forget to check out our page, goopdingag .com, for episodes, contact, and partnership opportunities. If you'd like to book a session with Vanessa for all your styling needs, you can book at realnvoguewithv .com forward slash services. That's real, E -N -V -O -G -U -E with the letter V.

And if you'd like to book a session with Pilar, you can learn more at PilarLutfaliwa .com. That's Pilar, my first name, P -I -L -A -R -L -Y -U -T -F -A -L -I -E -V -A .com. And now I cannot shake the Mickey Mouse song. I can do that. Now it's time to say goodbye. was like, -I -C -K -Y -O -U -S -E. Yes, I was just thinking that.

Pilar Lyutfalieva (56:15.888)
What I like to say goodbye. God. Good and God.